At first I wasn't going to make a post about it; although I gushed to our friends a lot this morning- but I don't see why not, and since Tommy just brought me into front to see the wonderful art that he made of us- to celebrate?!!! (You can see it on his blog, here's the link - https://tommyssupercoolwix.wixsite.com/tommyssupercoolblog/post/it-s-me-and-se%C3%A1n-s-one-year-marriage-anniversary-today )
oh my god it's so sweet,,, yeah, after that, I figured it'd be a crime not to!! If Tommy wants strangers on the web to know- enough to blast it everywhere- then god damnit i'm gonna participate in that if it makes him happy!! He's a lot more bold and less easily flustered/shy than I am though, so I hope this measures up. A year and three days ago, I asked Tommy to marry me. It wasn't planned in advance, not in the slightest. We were talking, on the bed, and it hit me that I just, needed to ask him. I felt it in a wave, all at once, that if I didn't- god I just couldn't live with myself. It felt like asking me not to propose, not to get it out there that I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with him- would be asking me not to breathe. and I didnt really know what to do with that, I didn't have a speech prepared, so I just stammered over myself for a while, asked him to wait, took front and searched our closet for a ring- specifically, the silver replica of the ring from LOTR that we had kept in there. When I found it, I had him tune in so he could see, and popped the question. and he said yes!!! and we both cried, a lot. A year ago on this EXACT day, August 28th, 2022 (the inspiration for my username on pinterest, @seanmcloughlin82822 ), we made it official, and Tommy went from my fiancé to my husband. We'd already written a fanfiction in which he took my last name, so I knew he would, but listening to him introduce himself- so excitedly, even when it was over text he was still vocal stimming- to our friends as "Thomas Mcloughlin" was just so...so everything to me. You may be wondering how that works, how you can have a marriage without a marriage official- unless of course we had a liscenced alter to do it for us. But we didn't. We didn't have a christian wedding, with a preist and all that, nor a legal one considering we share a body. But we did have one, and while even without it I'd still cherish it all the same, we did have some way of officializing it. You may have heard of the concept of a Quaker wedding, but if not, the premise is that since marriage is only between you, your spouse, and God, that's all you need. You pray, and tell him your intentions to get married, and at least one person verifies that you've given God that heads up that you're spiritually united now. That's all you need, and that's the exact route we took; Tommy and I both believing in God, although not in an "organized religion" sense. We actually find Quakerism closest to us in general, because of the idea of there being no strict lawbook (they still value the bible, but as a flawed human-made self help book, more like meditations from other believers than anything else) and going instead by your personal relationship to god, but that's BESIDES THE POINT WHICH IS: we were married today, a year ago. A whole year. So many things have happened and I've learned so much, about myself, about Tommy, about us. And perfection may be imposible or whatever but this is the closest thing you could ever get. We make mistakes, sometimes, but there's so much love here- of course there is, or why would we marry?- and I'm determined more than anything to make this work, to support him and to learn and work through things together, and I know he is too- just the same. And that's fucking wonderful and amazing and perfect and good. I definitely believe in an afterlife, and I definitely believe all of us as individual alters will get to go, and that me and Tommy will stay together even there- forever. But we still have a lot of earth years to go, and I'm going to cherish all of them, before and after death the same. I'm going to do my best. Because he's worth flighting for, and this is worth fighting for, and I love him, so fucking much. This has gotten pretty long (can you tell my courtship process included writing him victorian-esque romance letters? because it very much did, run on sentences and painfully precise wording and obvious, dripping from the page pining and fondness and all), but it's all true. Considering how much courage it takes for me to just, not hide my face in my hands when Tommy gushes about me, we're lucky I function mainly on inertia and can go on for hours if I'm pushed to start. Otherwise, this might not be quite as honest and sappy and heartfelt as it is. I may have even held back a little, at least as far as tangents go, because there's so many great things about him and being his husband that I would LOVE to gush about but would probably go bright red if anyone else acknowledged what I said. At least we have this. Happy one year Tommy, and a happy year for all of them ever after. I love you.
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